Not in my lifetime did I think I would ever visit Cuba, but my crazy Canadian friends Rich Adkin (of Random Chocolates fame) and Tara Bedard (both living in Hungary) decided to get married in Cuba last week. While it is still illegal by US law for Americans to travel to Cuba, the Cubans don’t have a problem with it. Americans purchase a travel card and this is stamped, not the passport. The Cuban Embassy in Budapest was very nice, quick and helpful. It was a surprise when they told us that Cuba does not use US dollars anymore, but two currencies – a Cuban peso for locals, and a convertible peso for foreigners. Much like China had two currencies up until a few years ago. It is best to bring Euro or Canadian dollars. Of course you have to pay for your travel card in….US dollars. It may be the Cuban Embassy, but it is still in Hungary. <!-- pagebreak -->

Although such a trip is way beyond my means, and not my usual backpacking holiday, it was cheap for what it was. A week at the all-inclusive Sol Palmeras 4-star resort on Varadero and charter flight from London was about 1000 euro including the extra flights between the UK and Hungary. Plus, it is not often you get to party with 30 of your friends on a beach for a week.  I took the opportunity to stay over with my friends Simon and Judith in London and saw their beautiful 3-week old baby.  I think out of the entire trip, I was most nervous about getting to their house. The shuttle bus was fine from Luton to the train station, and just managed to jump on the train before it left. I was thinking good thoughts until the train broke down. They could not let us out because apparently it was the doors that were causing the problem. We finally got released and changed trains and all was going smoothly until I hopped the wrong train at London Bridge. The track was correct, the board showed the correct train, the sign on the train was right, but…wrong train. The guy I asked suggested I get off somewhere and catch the next train back, but then an old woman took me off the train and put me on a bus to Greenwich Village. She walked with me to the stop and even asked several people at the stop to tell me when to get off. The bus driver was also patient and helpful. I did not know exactly which stop in Greenwich to disembark at, and made a guess and landed in front of the Organic Café (a good sign I thought).  Where do they get off asking 5 pounds for scrambled eggs?! The only way organic food will move into the mainstream is if it is affordable and normal for the masses, not a luxury, and there is no reason it should be priced as a luxury. Simon picked me up and took me to a pub under this cool green laser beam from the Old Naval Observatory marking the prime meridian. Nats and Michael were nice enough to pick up our tickets at STA Travel because these useless bastards who do not answer emails, even with 30 people paying them 1000 euro apiece, would not deliver the tickets to the airport for us. Never having taken a Thomas Cook charter before or Wizzair for that matter, I was unprepared for the lack of services on the planes. We only got one meal on a 12 hour flight, and had to pay for everything, even water (unless you knew somehow by telepathy that you could get free water by the glass in the back of the plane). When we landed in Cuba I knew I would probably face some tit-for-tat from Cuban passport control, but I was not prepared for a search. It took me forever to get my passport stamped because the guy did not know English, did not know where Hungary was, what a bookstore is, and kept asking me if it was my first time in Cuba and if I often go back to the US. Then the only truly shitty thing happened of the entire trip, Josey and Kristina’s baby carriage got stolen from the plane making it impossible for them to travel easily with little Joey. After waiting around for awhile for it with them and some others, I decided to go out and tell the others waiting on the bus what was happening. I got grabbed by customs before I made it 2 steps. There I met John G. who had also been pulled and they were going through his bag. This woman also insisted on not understanding my answers, and asking repeatedly the same questions as the previous guy. She dumped out my pre-ironed shirts and went right for my shaving kit asking about different medicines. She got “aspirin” and “vitamin” but I ended up trying to mime “diarrhea medicine” (unsuccessful), and really, really, really hoped I did not have to try and mime “prostate medicine.” Nor did she understand the reason for travel. After trying “wedding,” and “marriage” I grabbed John’s arm and hummed the wedding song. To which customs lady says, “Oh, you are a musician!” I gave up at that point. She left me there stewing, and after pacing the cage for several minutes I took out a book, which seemed to do the trick because she returned immediately after that. Of course, none of the 30 other people on the bus knew what the hell had happened to me, but at least they waited, and there were no rubber gloves involved. Now for positive stuff, because I really did have a fantastic time.

I did not want to do anything except read, sunbathe, drink, play Frisbee and swim, and in that, it was a perfect holiday. The beach was gorgeous and not too crowded. The staff running the activities were nice, and the waitresses and waiters during the breakfast buffet were also very nice. They put the three long-haired handsome guitar-playing single guys all in the same room, me, Mookie and PTK. PTK woke us up at 5 the first morning after a massive piss-up and gave us very useful florescent orange earplugs. And it was good getting to know these two guys better. The hotel also conveniently provided us with three separate keys (how many times does that happen?!). There are several things I learned about these all-inclusive resorts. Most importantly, bring your own large plastic cup. It is all you can drink, and they do load the drinks with 50% or more of rum, but the cups are so small that not only do you individually throw out 10-20 cups a day, but you need to go back for another before you get to your beach chair. Speaking of which, if you want a beach chair, it pays to get up early and reserve one with a towel or find someone with a small child that is up early anyway to do it for you (thanks Josey!). There were 4-5 restaurants besides the large buffet, but you need to reserve at least 2 days in advance because seating is very limited. Anyway, it is hardly worth it since the food is no better, and perhaps even worse than that at the buffet. Although food is plentiful, it is all imported from Europe, mainly Spain, and often tastelessly cooked. That said, I was always able to make a good salad, and the bread came in many varieties and was good and fresh.

There were shows of some sort every night, and I was lucky enough to catch 2 of them. The first night there was synchronized swimming which was fun to watch, and even more fun to watch the on-land warm-ups. Another night we caught a very professional dance show on the stage in the parking lot. Some of our group caught the show at the famous Tropicana Club in Havana and said it was well worth the 80 euro entry (including a bottle of rum and a bottle of cola for each table of four).

I did have the best intentions to get up early every day and swim in the pool, but that was impossible because it was a small circular one. The ocean, while warm and lovely, was so choppy and with a massive rip-tide, it made it impossible to swim for exercise there either. I also thought I might visit The Grupo de Agricultura Organica (GAO), the Cuban organic farming association which won the Right Livelihood Award--commonly known as the 'Alternative Nobel Prize' in 1999 but I rarely moved from the beach or the bar, or the beach bar. A jump in the ocean with a strong undertow at 7am cures a hangover instantly.

The wedding itself took place on a little promontory overlooking the ocean. Tara looked beautiful as they walked up a path of marigolds along the beach to stand in the middle of a marigold heart. Richie sand Tara a song, and Tara read some vows. Very little of this was heard because of the wind and sea, but they heard each other and that is all that mattered. Tara was nice enough to repeat the vows for us in the quieter restaurant later. After dinner we got a slide show of some of Rich’s great photography, focusing a bit on each of the guests and some that were invited but could not make it.

Some of the things that impressed me the most included:

• the swans the maid made out of the towels each morning, each time slightly different
• lack of sea shells or any sign of life in the water or the beach until the jelly fish invasion the last day
• the turkey vultures hovering
• our excellent tour guide Joel on our day trip to Havana
• no mosquitoes or flies!
• fikus trees in Havana
• the beautiful shutters on the buildings of Havana, and of course the old American cars
• sharing whisky and cigars on the balcony with Mookie
• the look on the barmaid’s face when we used our Frisbees as trays to carry drinks
• fresh flowers on every urinal every morning
• teaching Joey how to say seashell
• swimming in an un-chlorinated pool

Thanks Rich and Tara for such a great week, and I wish you a long and happy life together!